I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
