Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
