When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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