he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
