I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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