I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How does one acquire holy water?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
