New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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