I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
