I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
