fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
