She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
