I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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