i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
