They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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