I cannot find my penis.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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