Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
this will be a night to untag.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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