just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Fuck appropriateness.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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