Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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