She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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