i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
only you would photoshop your dick
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
