We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
