oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
