The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I AM VODKA MAN
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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