were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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