Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
