Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
