so that wasnt chicken after all
I CAN MOONWALK!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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