so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I currently don't understand fingers.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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