I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
