This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sorry about my life...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
