you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
