This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
