never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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