I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize