you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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