Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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