i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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