i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
