the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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