i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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