Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
operation harelip BJ is a go
you have to choose: penises or morals?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
