Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
