Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
