Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
