from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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