DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
