The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
