so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
