left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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