Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
