What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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