Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she peed on how many people?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
