The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
