if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize