No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
