Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
